Posts Tagged ‘Rich Bernstein’

New Generation Of Venusian has Arrived

Monday, August 27th, 2012

My dear readers, this article is dedicated to today’s women. In the last few years of my life, I have seen how a new generation of

I can take that mountain!

I can take that mountain!

women is standing out in the crowd. I have to admit that I have become one of these women, and I am proud now that I understand what kind of women we are. With Mars Venus by our side,we are more evolved and more independent than the women before our time. If our husbands do not meet our expectations, even if they have sexual prowess in the bedroom, we are not afraid to divorce them, even though most of us were raised up with the absurd mind set of “until death do us apart.” This new generation of women is not afraid to say “next!” Mars Venus has taught us not afraid to be alone rather than bear the emotional burden of a relationship that is not working.

Mars Venus considers these women “Warriors”, and they are a new generation of successful womenwho: solve problems; work outside the home; who are always moving forward; they raise their children; deal with criticism from their exes who constantly question their maternal skills and/or try their patience; they are responsible for paying their bills; dealing with men in the workplace who seem to think they know it all; they are available to listen to their friend who will not move on with her life and keeps reminiscing about the boyfriend who left her so long ago; she takes the time to arrange a surgery vacation for herself for a “breast augmentation” or a “retouch” somewhere on her body to keep her looks up to standard; and she sadly watches her neighbor hiding their gay son or daughter because she only cares about what society will think … Ah! and last, but not least, she still has time to sexually please her partner for a “quickie,” that more often than not, does not satisfy her own needs. OMG! Just reading this paragraph gets me all stressed out!  But this is how it is today … Today’s women, today’s “warriors,” can successfully manage many things all at once in their lives with grace, poise and determination.

Mars Venus sees today’s woman dealing with the stress and frustration of having to kiss many wrong frogs in hopes of finding her prince, or “the right man.” One of my roles as a “Mars Venus Coach” is to guide people, especially couples, towards a successful relationship.  When I see that a person, or couple, is wasting their time with one another, I am the first to tell them that although they may in fact be in  love with their mate, that person may not be the RIGHT ONE for them. The basis of my success is that I understand that people come into our lives to fulfill a cycle. They are in your life to teach you, to guide you, and to help you grow.

If the time has come to end a relationship, we must accept that the relationship no longer works, for whatever reason, and understand that it is time to close the cycle with this person. This allows us to move on, and to be available for a new relationship that will eventually bring us closer to the right person for us.

In our next article, we will discuss what skills the Successful Women of Our Generation needs to develop in order to find, and preserve a relationship with her perfect mate.

Mernela Anez

Certified Business Coach

Mars Venus Coaching

 

Mars Venus Increases Women’s Status using Gender Intelligent Communication, Part 1

Friday, August 17th, 2012

Whenever I ask people if they are familiar with the term men are from Mars, women are from Venus, there tends to be an instant lighting up of the eyes, and intake of breath. This term coined by Dr. John Gray when he wrote his best-selling book of that title back in 1992 is now considered to be part our society’s vernacular. However, when is the last time you’ve picked up any of Dr. Gray’s books? There are now too many books (16 and counting) for a high-level executive, or really anyone for that matter who has both a career and family to tend to sit down and devote good chunks of time to read and assimilate the information. Instead of reading all of the literature, the following is a quick synopsis of why implementing this quick fix is imperative, not only for women to remain and ascend in the corporate world, but also why it needs to be done in order to re-balance and give quality of life back to everyone in this fast-paced, high-tech world.

Back in 1992 Dr. Gray provided an easy way to understand the fact that men and women communicate differently, and if we want better relationships, we have to learn the other’s dialect so we can speak the same language. Now, in 2012, we understand the research behind why we communicate differently, and the message is now more urgent than ever, because not only are women not climbing in corporate, but we’re doing irreversible damage to our bodies, and the families we are currently growing. It is imperative that the culture in corporate shift for good now that we understand the revolution of men and women are created equal to be an unexamined assumption and unrealistic expectation. Based on John Gray’s book, Mars Venus Coaching teaches, men and women are uniquely different genders, and the latest research is showing how our unique natures and physiology are meant to complement the other gender.

So to get back to the point we must saturate the “market” by doing just this: while at work teach how men and women communicate differently in workshops. It is imperative, because right now women are up against a brick wall when it comes to fitting into a culture that disregards their unique gender-based contributions of working and relating to others. Stand by for part two about why teaching workshops on gender intelligent communication is the common sense approach and quick fix for a long term solution.

Lyndsay Katauskas, MEd

Corporate Media Relations

Mars Venus Coaching

 

Mars Venus on Gender Intelligent Communication

Monday, July 23rd, 2012

For anyone attending recent women’s business conferences or reading the latest articles devoted to the lack of women in the executive ranks, Mars Venus Coaching asks you to open your mind to the possibility of a quick, yet long-term fix to increase the status of women in the corporate world. There is an undercurrent of paranoia and frustration about why numbers are not equalizing among the sexes at the top of the leadership pyramid. These feelings of uneasiness are in response to being run ragged by constant low-grade stress. Whenever we ask people if they are familiar with the book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, there tends to be an instant lighting up of the eyes, and an intake of breath. This term coined by Dr. John Gray when he wrote his best-selling book of that title back in 1992 is now considered to be part of our society’s vernacular. Dr. John Gray has written many books relating to the Mars Venus dynamic (16 and counting). Instead of reading the research and literature, the following is a quick synopsis of why implementing this quick fix is imperative. It’s important not only for women to remain in and ascend the corporate ladder, but also to re-balance and give quality of life back to everyone in this fast-paced, high-tech world. The solution Mars Venus refers to is introducing gender intelligent communication into professional development training.

Our current expectations and assumption men and women are equal, and therefore must be treated the same is both an unrealistic expectation and an unexamined assumption. To address reality, the solution is to address the real issue, and that is the current state of men’s communication style being preferred, while disregarding how women communicate. The solution then is to teach how men and women communicate differently in workshops at work. Women are up against a brick wall when it comes to fitting into a culture that disregards their unique gender-based contributions of working and relating to others. The solution of teaching gender intelligent communication implements a culture shift at corporate to equally embrace and respect men and women’s unique gender contributions. Continuing to force women to assimilate to a male created work climate is unwise. Now we are armed with information regarding why and how it damages both our bodies (health and wellness wise) and our relationships (at work and at home).

The latest research shows how men and women’s interaction with stress is different in three ways. The first is how the chemicals in our brain respond differently to stress. The second way we’re different is we produce different stress-reducing hormones. Men reduce stress by producing testosterone, and women reduce stress by producing oxytocin. And the third is the way we reduce our stress. How we produce the stress-reducing hormone based on our gender, actually increases the other gender’s stress! The research is good to understand the why’s behind the way we behave, and more importantly why we communicate differently the way we do with one another; however, what is more germane to this discussion is the quickest way to balance men and women in the workplace. The easy answer is we do this through gender intelligent communication workshops.

The culture needs to change, and the quickest way is to train people in the ways men and women communicate differently. The first level of learning is awareness. The second level is putting it into practice. Previous solutions offered saved face. This “lip service” backfired with more misunderstanding and disgruntled employees. This solution does not promote women being promoted without hard work or merit. The companies which accept and respect women’s unique penchant for attention to detail while they incorporate everyone into the decision-making process at the same time as when they identify emotional consequences are the companies gaining recognition for success and increased quality of life for its employees and customers. This solution is not lip service, because it requires an immediate call to action to train people how to effectively communicate.

When the two different gender styles of communication are both given credit for their strengths and weaknesses, then the playing field is leveled, because our unique ways of relating to one another are understood, respected, and embraced. Changing the way we talk to one another, in essence, is the fundamental first step that has heretofore been missing. A culture shift occurs when we are able to open our hearts and minds to understand the other person’s way of communicating as being a slight variation in dialect. The modus operandi of male communication patterns or else is outdated. Running a balanced work world embracing both men and women’s unique contributions acknowledges everyone’s gifts. In turn this makes the workplace more productive and conducive to both new growth and change as the workforce assimilates cultural awareness. There will be equal numbers of men and women in and at the top in the corporate world once everyone is respected for their method of communicating. Lucky for us the by-product is lower stress levels for all. This goes a long way for our economic, health, and marriage crisis; which would be easier to handle if our relationships were open, honest, healthier, and a source of comfort both at work and at home.

Lyndsay Katauskas, MEd

Corporate Media Relations

Mars Venus Coaching

 

 

One Easy Way To Reduce Workplace Stress And Enhance Productivity

Friday, July 13th, 2012

Victor Lipman, Contributor Forbes 6/5/12

It’s always pleasant (if rare) to find a management tactic that works well and is also easy and even fun. Over the course of my career – both as an employee and a manager – the best way I found to reduce stress and improve productivity was simple: to exercise at midday.

Everyone has his or her own biorhythms, but I found and observed energy and concentration often flagging toward midday. And also noted considerably renewed energy and productivity following a lunchtime workout.

These aren’t simply my own idiosyncratic observations. Numerous studies link exercise to mood elevation and productivity enhancement, as well as more collaborative and tolerant behavior. The benefits of exercise are copiously well documented; the trick is effectively integrating a regular exercise program into a conservative or restrictive work environment.

What form of exercise works best? My answer’s simple: Whatever you like and can easily do in or near the workplace. For me it was usually a 3-mile run. All I needed was a change of clothes and a shower. Many I managed liked weightlifting, walking, aerobics classes, yoga, Spinning and so on. (Personal aside: The only form of exercise that was clearly not for me was Spinning. First, it looks wicked hard. Second, I exercised at least partly to take a break from people barking at me, so the last thing I wanted while taking a break from people barking at me was other people barking at me.)

Here are six common reasons why people can’t or don’t exercise at work, and ways to easily overcome them.
I don’t have time. Sure you do. It may take you 15 minutes longer than a normal lunch hour (maybe even 30 if you have to go a little farther to get to a facility), so work 15 (or 30) minutes later. Chances are in those extra 15 minutes you’ll be more energized and productive than if you hadn’t exercised in the first place.
My boss won’t let me. Tell him or her (nicely) to get with the program. Note info above – data shows exercise enhances productivity, reduces stress, and improves collaboration. Ask for a chance to demonstrate the results, and be sure to over-deliver when providing them.

We don’t have a Fitness Center. It’s great if your company has one, but no knockout if you don’t. Sometimes all you need is a shower. Or you can go to a nearby gym or club. Often your company can get a corporate discount, a trade that helps both teams.
I won’t have time to eat lunch. Nonsense. Eat lunch at your desk while working following your workout. I did it productively for decades. I ate a cheese sandwich or a peanut butter sandwich (fortunately I have a limitless capacity for monk-like culinary boredom), plus an apple or an orange. The main criterion for my lunch was that it could be prepared literally within one minute – no kidding – at about 9 p.m. the night before.

My hair will be a mess. Don’t be too hard enough on yourself. I’m sure your hair actually looks a lot better than you think it does. Note to employees: Of course you’ll use common sense here – no triathlon workouts right before Board presentations. Note to managers: Offer (as appropriate to your environment) flexibility of casual dress and appearance. Your employees will appreciate you for it and likely reward you with loyalty and diligence.

My CEO doesn’t believe in exercise in the workplace. Hey, this is 2012. I’m as old school and dinosaurish as they come and I’ve been exercising at work since the 1970s. Note to CEOs: You’ll gain in employee engagement. You’ll gain in recruiting. You may gain in reduced absenteeism and health care costs (though that’s usually harder to document). Plus, dedicated exercisers/athletes tend to be highly disciplined individuals and fine employees. It’ll make your company a cooler happier place.

One final thought: The ability to exercise at work is a benefit and privilege, so you can’t abuse it – all expected work still has to get done. Otherwise, any straight-thinking manager will – and should – pull the plug quickly. But it shouldn’t come to that. Well-managed exercise programs improve the quality of worklife for employees and management alike. And that’s the bottom line. I’d write more, but I’ve got to go for a run.

Courageous Leaders Don’t Make Excuses…They Apologize

Wednesday, July 11th, 2012

Erika Andersen, Contributor Forbes 6/5/12

I’ve been thinking about the power of apology lately. I’ve been noticing that the people for whom I have the most respect don’t hesitate to say “I was wrong,” or “I’m sorry I…” On the other hand, the people I have the hardest time respecting seem constitutionally unable to take responsibility for their own mistakes. Even when they try, it comes out sounding like “I may have been partly at fault, but…” or “It may seem that I was wrong, but…” They just can’t do it.

Apologizing freely requires a good deal of courage. It’s not comfortable for any of us to admit an error, or to acknowledge that something we’ve done has caused others harm or inconvenience. So when someone truly apologizes, we know he or she is putting honesty and honor above personal comfort or self-protection. It’s inspiring, and it feels brave.

I just today read a great article here on Forbes about this very topic called Creative Leadership: Humility and Being Wrong. The authors, Doug Guthrie and Sudhir Venkatesh, make a really clear and well-reasoned case for the positive power of admitting and apologizing for one’s mistakes. At one point in the article, they note that:

“We are frequently taught that leaders, especially aspiring leaders, should hide weaknesses and mistakes. This view is flawed. It is not only good to admit you are wrong when you are; but also it can also be a powerful tool for leaders—actually increasing legitimacy and, when practiced regularly, can help to build a culture that actually increases solidarity, innovation, openness to change and many other positive features of organizational life.”

I couldn’t agree more. Followers look to see whether a leader is courageous before they’ll fully accept that person’s leadership. If they see courage (and taking full responsibility for actions and admitting and apologizing for mistakes are two of the five key indicators of courage), it feels safe to ‘sign up.’ People need courageous leaders in order to feel there’s someone to make the tough calls and to take responsibility for them – they need to know that the buck truly does stop with the leader. With a courageous leader, people feel protected – not that they’re helpless, but they know the person in charge really has their back.

And courage begets courage: your followers are more likely to make their own tough decisions and to take responsibility for them when you model that behavior. You have their backs – so they’re much more likely to have yours.

Because so many of us have a hard time apologizing, I thought it might be helpful to have an ‘apology primer.’ Here you go:

  • I’m sorry: this is the core of a genuine apology. “I’m sorry.” or “I apologize.” It’s the stake in the ground to communicate that you truly regret your behavior and wish you had acted differently. No apology is complete without this.
  • Stay in the first person: Many, perhaps most, apologies run off the rails at this point, when the apologizer shifts into the second person, e.g., “I’m sorry….you didn’t understand me.” Or “I’m sorry….you feel that way.” Suddenly, you’re no longer apologizing for your actions; you’re telling the other person that you regret their actions or feelings. A true apology sounds like, “I’m sorry I….” or “I’m sorry we…”
  • Don’t equivocate: Once you said what you regret about your actions or words, don’t water it down with excuses. That can blow the whole thing. The former manager of my apartment building once said to me, “I’m sorry we haven’t gotten back to you about your security deposit, but you have to understand we’ve got hundreds of tenants.” I definitely didn’t feel apologized to – in fact, I felt he was telling me I was being inconsiderate to hold him accountable! Just let the apology stand on its own. “I’m sorry we haven’t gotten back to you about your security deposit.
  • Say how you’ll fix it. This seals the deal. If you genuinely regret your words or actions, you’ll to commit to changing. This needs to be simple, feasible and specific. “I’m sorry we haven’t gotten back to you about your security deposit. We’ll have an answer to you by this Friday.”
  • Do it. I know some people who don’t have a hard time apologizing, but seem to have a hard time following through on their apologies. If you apologize and say you’re going to behave differently, and then don’t – it’s actually worse than not having apologized in the first place. When you don’t follow through, people question not only your courage, but also your trustworthiness.

So there you have it. Next time you’re clearly in the wrong, take deep breath, put aside your self-justification, your excuses, your blame, your defensiveness, and simply apologize. Being courageous in this way is generally scary in anticipation. But it feels great once you’ve done it….to you, and to those you lead.

Why Incentives Help You Achieve Your Goals

Friday, July 6th, 2012

When it comes to making goals, we often forget an important aspect: the reward. You can argue that achieving the goal in and of itself is the reward, and in most cases, I’d agree. However, there are some goals where having an additional incentive may encourage you to stick it out longer, than if you were doing it just for the goal achievement itself.

If the goal is going to take time and focused effort to achieve, then setting incremental benchmarks can be useful. The concept is similar to how you create your 90 Day Plan, and in fact compliments your endeavors. Identify your long-term goal, and then figure out what you can do in smaller, bite-sized chunks. Then choose things from your bucket list (i.e. fun things you desire to do/see, but you never seem to have the time to do) that would match the effort it is going to take for you to reach each of the milestones.

For example, getting a promotion at work that you know you should go for soon, but that you are not that motivated to try right now. True the benefit is a pay raise, but if you are holding yourself back, because you are listening to negative tapes in your head telling you that you are not good at test taking, studying, or paperwork, then an outside incentive linked to something you very much want to do or have may help you achieve this goal. And, achieve it sooner, rather than later.

So, in this promotion example, as you identify if you have the pre-requisites and find out what training you will need to take, link a reward to passing the tests or the actual promotion itself. If you’ve always wanted to go scuba diving, spend a day at a spa, or ride a dirt bike, then promise yourself that you will do it once you’ve achieved your goal.

The key is to plan out how long it will take you to achieve your goal. If it is going to take longer than a week or even 3 months, then it is a good idea to celebrate your small victories along the way as well. So, for example, if it is a big step for you to approach your boss and let her or him know you’re interested in more responsibility, then celebrate on a smaller scale after you’ve sat down with your boss—buy a snorkel, get the helmet, or pick out what treatments you want to get done at the spa. Just remember, if the step that you need to take needs external motivation to get you started, then attach a reward to that step.

Pasting visual pictures of what your goal will look, feel, smell, taste, and sound like once you’ve achieved it—right next to the picture of you on the dirt bike or at the spa can help you on the rough days when you don’t feel like going after your goal. When you’re tired of being just outside of your comfort zone, and are happy to slide back into what you had been doing—look and visualize what you have to gain.

And, by all means, when you’ve hit the milestones, don’t forget to cash in on your reward. Celebrate. If you keep plodding on to the finish line without picking up energy boosts, then it may seem a lot further to go than the actual distance you have left to achieve success.

Lyndsay Katauskas, MEd
Mars Venus Coaching
Corporate Media Relations

Mars Venus Coaching E-Workshop; “On a Date”

Tuesday, October 26th, 2010


Does the mere idea of dating make you nervous?
Do you find it difficult to confidently approach the opposite sex?
Is flirting a foreign language for you?
Has it been months (even years) since you went out on a date?
Or has it been months (even years) since you were dating someone special?

Imagine for a moment, that getting a date was easy. What would it look like? How would it feel to be excited about having a date on Saturday night? To be dating someone you were truly excited about, someone that made your pulse race and your palms sweat. This doesn’t have to live only in your imagination. It can be your reality. Dating someone special is within your grasp. That is, if you are willing to learn what it takes to date successfully.


For the First Time Ever!
Now, for the first time, our Mars Venus – “On a Date” eWorkshop is available online. The new challenge of dating is to find a partner who will not only be supportive of our physical needs for survival and security, but will also support our emotional, mental, and spiritual needs as well. It is no longer enough to just find someone who is willing to marry us – we want partners who will love us more as they get to know us. We want to live happily ever after. In order to find and recognize partners who can fill our new needs for increased intimacy, good communication, and a great love life – we need to update our dating skills.

The Mars Venus “On a Date” is a 5-week online eWorkshop designed for singles and dating couples who are interested in finding true and lasting love. Married couples who want to rekindle the romance of dating will also benefit greatly from this practical guide. By reviewing the elements of a great date and putting them into practice, you can once again experience the passion and romance experienced at the beginning of the relationship. The 5-session eWorkshop is presented live by a certified Mars Venus Success Coach, and supported with PowerPoint slides, video clips from some of Dr. Gray’s former sessions or workshops, theory, skills and interactive workshop exercises. You’ll receive strategies, tips, and the tools you’ll need to succeed at dating. You’ll even receive a certificate of completion. You’ll learn:

  • • How to successfully navigate through the five stages of dating
  • • How to attract the right person for you
  • • How to make sure you don’t unwittingly turn off the opposite sex
  • • How to make sure your partner stays interested
  • • Warning signals to avoid getting involved with the wrong person
  • • How to bring out the best in your partner
  • • When and how to create the four levels of intimacy – physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual
  • • How to make up, so you don’t break up
  • • The different reasons men and women decide to get married
  • • How to prepare for a marriage made in heaven

5 weekly sessions for only $298 (that’s just $59.60 per session). Each weekly session lasts approximately one hour.

visit http://marsvenusworkshops.com for more information

Mars Venus Coaching Launches New E-Workshops!

Friday, October 8th, 2010

We are very excited to share with you a link to our brand new E-Workshops! These are the very Mars Venus Workshops that Dr. John Gray has been delivering globally for the last 25 years. For the first time ever we are now offering these highly effective Mars Venus Workshops online. Now you can experience and learn the Mars Venus Concepts taught by Dr. John Gray in the comfort of your own home.

The site provides an area for you to sign up for more information about the Workshops, in which you will receive an email every five days with tips that relate to the Workshops. It also offers a look at our affiliate program, in which you can sell these E-Workshops and receive a 25% commission.

The Mars Venus Coaching Workshops that are currently offered are listed below:

  • Secrets of Successful Relationships
  • Children are from Heaven
  • Mars Venus on a Date
  • Starting Over
  • How Men & Women Cope with Stress Differently
  • Mars Venus in the Workplace

Mars Venus Success Coaching E-Workshops

Mars Venus Coach Profile – Kal Sharaf

Friday, August 13th, 2010

kal blog picKhaled Sharaf of Amman, Jordan has joined Mars Venus Coaching. Amman is the capital and largest city of the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan. A city of about 2 million inhabitants (2008 estimate), it is the country’s political, cultural and commercial centre and one of the oldest continuously inhabited cities in the world. Khaled Sharaf joins Mars Venus Coaching with a strong background in the restaurant industry. He has over 27 years of experience in the industry; he spent most of his time in the Fast Food and the full service segments (casual and formal). Restaurant Operations was his specialty and he had received his MBA in 2004.

The restaurant industry is such a unique business, where so many moving parts need to be managed differently, separately, yet all at the same time. Kal’s passion for people made him a successful person, manager, and leader. Kal made many of his achievements through the many people he has come across in the business internally and externally. He found himself developing key people to be the best at what they currently, and others getting to the next level of excellence professionally and financially. This is Kal’s most cherished part of his experience.

Kal decided to take his knowledge, experience and the continuation of his passion for people a step above. He started a consulting business. He named it, TOGETHER, to help individuals and business developing systems, people, and meet their financial objectives. He worked with companies in the US, Jordan, UAE, and Saudi Arabia. As Kal was looking for a franchises, his path was crossed by Mars Venus Coaching, he knew right away that this the launching pad for achievements both for him and for his clients.

For more information about Mars Venus Success Coaching, contact Amy Kamstra at the Global Headquarters at 702-835-9295 and visit the website at:    www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Mars Venus Coaching July 2010 Training Class Graduates

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

July 2010 Training Group PictureMars Venus Coaching July 2010 Life, Executive and Business Coach Training Graduates

Congratulations to our most recent graduates; (L-R, Front Row) Wim Vrolijk and Karlijn Vrolijk – Netherlands, Toni Culph – Australia, Yvonne Allen – Australia, Nicole Brandon – California, (L-R, Back Row) Darrin Clarke – Utah, Kal Sharaf – Jordan, Yasser Shaker – Egypt, Eric Cole – Canada.